Watching Air Force Senior Airmen Anthony Palacios and Austin Irving give each other knowing looks and laugh together, you'd think they've been friends for years. In reality, their bond was forged by a sobering situation: when Irving decided he was going to take his own life.
However, Palacios had taken note of the subtle differences in his fellow airman's actions and reached out. That one small moment of caring changed both men's lives forever.
Palacios, 27, a native of San Antonio, is assigned to the 86th Maintenance Squadron at Ramstein Air Base, Germany, and works in a unit that calibrates equipment. When Irving, 22, from Temecula, California, was placed in the same unit, Palacios took him under his wing.
Palacios said Irving was usually upbeat and happy, but on one occasion in February 2024, Irving's demeanor alarmed him.
"Usually, this guy is all smiles, radiating energy. And at the time that I saw him, that was not the case," Palacios remembered.
Irving was struggling in silence. Issues in his personal and professional life had been compounding over months.
"Over time, I just didn't really know how to tackle the problems that just kept building up higher and higher and higher," Irving explained. "It looked so massive and so unapproachable."
He said his thoughts started veering toward suicide.
"I ended up actually going out and buying the pills and the alcohol, and I said, 'You know what? It's there if I need it,'" Irving recalled. "And that's a really scary place to be in because it only takes a little bit more to push you to that point."
Eventually, that moment happened.
"On that day that [Palacios] was talking about, I got pushed to there. I had kind of a final moment where I thought in my head, 'If I make it home today, I am going to kill myself,'" Irving explained. "So, I continued working that day. I even taught a class."
"Finally, I was packing up for the day. I had gotten all my stuff together, and I was going to get in my car, go home and kill myself," Irving continued. "And Senior Airman Palacios, he saw me and was like, 'Dude, you look like a ghost. What's going on?'"
He saved my life, without a doubt. ... I cannot thank this guy enough. Every day since then has been a complete gift."
Air Force Senior Airman Austin Irving
The changes in Irving may have been subtle, but Palacios noticed. When he asked Irving a few simple questions, the struggling airman quickly opened up about the problems that were overwhelming him. Palacios told Irving that he and their coworkers were there for him and cared for him, but it wasn't enough.
"There was a barbecue that was happening the next day, and the way [Palacios] phrased the question was, 'There's that barbecue happening tomorrow. If I let you go home, am I going to see you there?'" Irving said. "And I said, 'No. If I go home, I'm going to kill myself.' So, he said, 'OK, you're not going home. I'm going to call someone, and we're going to get you the help you need.'"
Palacios said he didn't exactly know what to do, but he knew who would. With help from their unit's first sergeant, Irving was put in touch with a suicide prevention team that immediately got him into treatment.
If Palacios had waited one more day — or even a few hours — to check on Irving, the outcome might have been drastically different.
"I'm an emotional person, but I don't like showing it, and I don't like people knowing that I am," Palacios said. "I remember very vividly fighting back a tear."
"He saved my life, without a doubt," Irving said of Palacios. "I cannot thank this guy enough. Every day since then has been a complete gift."
Intense but Effective Recovery
Irving initially thought he had ruined his career by opening up, but he later said it was the best thing that could have happened to him.
"They properly diagnosed me with anxiety, and I started taking medication for it," he said. "It's like putting glasses on for the first time. When you get that medication right, you go, 'Oh, my God, this is what the world looks like to everyone else? This is amazing!'"
Irving said the first few months of his treatment were pretty intense and included sessions with chaplains, military and family life counselors, therapists and psychiatrists. But he felt himself making progress with every visit. Those health care professionals also worked closely with Irving's leaders, who moved him into a different work environment to help him focus.
When I was going through what I was going through, I was more scared of the idea of being in trouble for being suicidal than I was of dying. ... The idea of death was a more palatable choice than going through the hardship of going to a hospital and getting some care. And we don't want anyone to experience that."
Air Force Senior Airman Austin Irving
He said the support he received from his command really blew him away.
"They consistently visited me every single day — my commander, my first sergeant, my flight chief. It meant the world to me," Irving said. "The fact that leadership and mental health were working together in tandem for that care is what led to my success."
And — of course — there was Palacios, who also routinely visited Irving.
"He mentored me and encouraged me to utilize what I was learning to benefit other people," Irving said. "I joined the Air Force because I wanted to help people. The way he said it was, 'This is your chance.'"
Because of his actions, Palacios was named the 2025 USO Airman of the Year, which he will accept May 29, 2025, during the 2025 USO Gala in Washington. Irving will join him as his guest.
"I personally have gotten, I think, two awards in the nine years I've been in. So, just randomly getting an Air Force-level one — that's nuts," Palacios said, calling the honor "surreal."
Palacios said he knows not every situation will have the same favorable outcome. Still, helping Irving "refreshed" him, and he wants the reassurance that his airmen have everything they need. "I just want to make sure that my people are taken care of," he added.
Paying It Forward
For nearly a year now, Irving has been a suicide prevention advocate for his squadron.
Part of what he shares are things he learned firsthand, including busting enduring myths that aren't true, such as being afraid he would get kicked out of the military or losing his security clearance for getting help. In fact, he continued to do his job while he went through the recovery process.
"They keep you from going on deployments and [temporary duty] and shift changes, but that's not a punishment — that is purely to make sure that you don't have to focus on any additional stressors while you are dealing with what's most important, which is your mental health," Irving said.
The Air Force's "ask, care and escort" training really worked, he said. Irving often uses Palacios as an example of how airmen can advocate for those who are struggling by simply paying attention and listening.
"I encourage people to empathize with your fellow airman, your coworker. If someone seems off … ask them what's going on," Irving said. "Be there for them, because you never know what kind of situation they may be going through."
Irving said it's also important for service members to know what comes after asking for help, including the care plans set up and how leaders work with health care professionals to rebuild their confidence.
"When I was going through what I was going through, I was more scared of the idea of being in trouble for being suicidal than I was of dying," Irving said. "The idea of death was a more palatable choice than going through the hardship of going to a hospital and getting some care. And we don't want anyone to experience that."
He stressed the importance of continuing to be vocal about mental health.
"The whole point of what we're trying to do is we want to be able to talk about suicide. We want to be able to talk about mental health. We want to be able to talk about taboo things like medications and psychiatrists and have an open discussion with our coworkers, our friends, our family," Irving said. "If we don't have those, then we have a culture that I was a part of in which I was afraid to tell people about what I was going through. And I suffered in silence until I couldn't take it anymore."
If You're Struggling
Irving wants people in crisis to know they are not a burden, adding it's important for those who may not have been able to save someone to know it's not their fault.
According to DOD's 2023 annual report on suicide in the military, 523 service members died by suicide in 2023, a rate that's gradually increased since 2011, when 287 suicides were confirmed.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, contact the Veteran/Military Crisis Line at 988 for immediate help. Confidential care is available 24 hours a day.