“The day was May 23, 2014. I will never forget, because it’s the same day as my husband’s birthday. I thought to myself, ‘Why me? Why does my family have to go through this?’”
As the Wing Resiliency Day facilitator at Osan Air Base, Korea, Air Force Maj. Shamekia Toliver trained airmen on how to handle tough situations and bounce back from them. She was preparing for one of the most exciting assignments of her career -- becoming the deputy commander of the 51st Civil Engineer Squadron. Instead, she would soon be tested on the same training she provided; causing her to have a new perspective on what it really means to be a resilient airman.
Toliver, who has since been promoted to lieutenant colonel and now serves as the commander for the 7th Civil Engineer Squadron here, was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 38. A lump on her breast initially aroused suspicion, but Toliver wasn’t convinced it meant anything. However; after a conversation with her husband she agreed to see a medical professional.
“I thought everything was fine, but he ended up saving my life,” Toliver said.
Toliver’s husband was by her side during a trip to see a specialist, who determined the lump was suspicious. The next step was to have a biopsy, which revealed her breast cancer diagnosis.
“I didn’t trust what I was hearing, so I immediately asked for a second opinion,” Toliver said.
The results confirmed the diagnosis.
“We were utterly shocked and rocked to the core,” Toliver said. “You just don’t expect something that grave. I was pretty young, and I considered myself to be healthy. Cancer doesn’t run in my family, and the statistics didn’t line up to make me think I was susceptible to breast cancer.”
Career in Jeopardy
Days after her diagnosis, Toliver received an email indicating she would have to go through a medical evaluation board, which could determine if she was still medically fit to continue active duty service. This was a frustrating moment for her as an active duty airman. She said she felt the board notification came so soon after her diagnosis that it wouldn’t allow her a chance to prove she would get better.
“I was worried about my life and my ability to survive at that moment,” Toliver said. “I loved the Air Force for 20 years, and there was a chance my career could be taken away in a flash. I know I was informed for the right reasons, but I struggled with the notification.”
Yet as a senior leader and a wing resiliency facilitator, she had to hold herself accountable.
“I wanted to ensure I wasn’t just preaching resiliency but also showing myself, my airmen and peers what a resilient airman looks like,” Toliver said. “I was determined to make my schedule work for what the mission needed, and what I needed to get better.”
Knowing her Air Force career was in jeopardy for reasons beyond her control, Toliver had to put a plan together. The high operational tempo at Osan was a challenge, but she asked to remain in Korea for treatment and to be able to accept her new assignment as deputy commander of the 51st Civil Engineer Squadron.
“The leadership void I would leave would be felt,” Toliver said. “I wanted to lay out a plan of attack for treatment, and I didn’t want to lose my job in the Air Force because I love what I do. I just knew I was going to beat this.”
The requests were granted, and she began treatment in Osan. The first part of treatment was to have surgery to remove the cancer.
Treatment
“I was hospitalized for five weeks, and my body was allowed to heal,” Toliver said. “Then I started chemotherapy, which consisted of 18 sessions during the course of a year.”
Toliver scheduled her chemotherapy sessions every third Thursday and took the following Friday off. This allowed her to recover over the weekend and return to work each Monday. She used a laptop to keep up with work remotely while undergoing treatment.
Going through her affliction in Korea made it a peculiar experience.
“The practices and methods in Korea aren’t the same as stateside,” Toliver said. In Korea, I had to have an IV line inserted each time I had chemo in addition to a battery of other blood testing before each treatment. I also had a lot of oral medications to take, including steroids.”
As a result, her physical appearance changed and she felt weak and tired.
“I gained 28 pounds and lost all my hair while I was going through therapy,” Toliver said.
The changes made her want to fight harder to achieve her personal goals. She strived to take her Air Force physical training test after reconstructive surgery despite still undergoing chemotherapy.
“I don’t take for granted any day I can get up and move around, because I have had days when I couldn’t,” Toliver said. “I appreciated the days I could do PT, because it was important to me. I trained, and my first sergeant at the time pushed me to attain an excellent on my PT test.”
Support of Family, Friends, Colleagues
Through the tough times, the good outweighed the bad.
“My low points aren’t that memorable to me,” Toliver said. “I was surrounded by an awesome team of wingmen. They consistently lifted me up, and their service was unselfish. They focused on my entire family, and that along with my faith is what kept me going.”
The 7th CES commander affectionately refers to her family as ‘Team Toliver.’ They are her foundation, which gave her strength along with the support of her church and Air Force family. Spouses and airmen alike pulled together to provide meals, transportation, encouraging words and hospital visits. They also took care of her kids and participated in local cancer awareness events.
When Toliver decided to tell her sons, ages 8 and 4, about her condition, the conversation with them was challenging.
“My sons had to grow up and experience things some children may never see in a lifetime,” Toliver said. “They saw mental and physical changes in me, but it was their right to know exactly what we -- as a family -- were going through.”
Team Toliver’s testimony continues to transcend today.
“Recently, we found out a mother on my son’s football team is being treated for breast cancer and has been unable to attend the games,” Toliver said. “With it being Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I wore a pink ribbon to one of the games. My son asked if he could have the ribbon to give to his friend and let him know he understood what he was going through. This is why I share my story because you never know how it will impact others and give them hope.”
“Who am I to give up?” Toliver said. “The Air Force has invested so much in me. Yes, I’m a mom and my faith carried me through, but also I attribute my story to being an American Airman. Without the foundation, training and drive I get as being a part of the world’s greatest Air Force, I don’t think my story would be the same.”
While medical professionals note a breast cancer patient in remission needs to be cancer-free for five years before being fully cured, Toliver already considers herself a survivor.